


The Committee

by thisgirlsays22



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Canon Era, Fluff, M/M, Manga Spoilers, Mild Smut, canonverse, ereri hates bureaucracy, ererisecretsanta2k17
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-24
Updated: 2017-12-24
Packaged: 2019-02-19 15:14:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,706
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13126326
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thisgirlsays22/pseuds/thisgirlsays22
Summary: Hanji forms a committee to draft the official 'dating policy' for the Survey Corps. Eren doesn't react well.





	The Committee

**Author's Note:**

  * For [erenbaeger](https://archiveofourown.org/users/erenbaeger/gifts).



> This my ereri secret santa fic for the wonderful Erenbaeger!

“For fuck’s sake, Eren. If you don’t want to take orders from me anymore, accept Hanji’s promotion.” Levi took a sip of his tea and leaned back in his chair. He’d been sat at his desk, trying to get some paperwork done, when Eren barged in (without so much as a knock) and began speaking as though they hadn’t concluded their debate an hour ago. _At least he’d brought tea_ , Levi thought, grateful against his will.

Reminding Eren that he had other options was becoming less and less effective every time Levi employed the tactic. There was no real bite to it, though Eren still had yet to give him an explanation for declining Hanji’s offer.  

Eren barely batted an eyelash at the suggestion this time. He carried on, undeterred, “I’m only pointing out that we should focus on building more settlements and adding reinforcements around Paradis. We’ve hardly done anything north of the wall. You know they’ll send more ships to other parts of the island...this way we could get to them faster.”

“We still don’t have that kind of manpower,” Levi argued. He thought he sounded patient enough considering the circumstances. “People are still reluctant to move outside the walls, and we’d have to properly train them.”   

“We could provide more incentives for people to move outside. It’s safer now. We haven’t encountered a Titan in months.”

“I know you want to move faster, we all do, but this is important too. You of all people should understand.”

One of the soldiers they’d captured from the Marleyan ships had tipped them off about a kind of flower that Titans were drawn to, maybe even hypnotised by. He said they’d discovered it during an expedition many years ago and that their researchers needed more samples to continue their work, and that’s all he knew. Hanji and Armin wanted to investigate, and Levi agreed. There was no reason not to look into it, and if it checked out it could give them another advantage.

Levi bristled at having to explain this for the second time today. It was already autumn and they needed to finish harvesting what they could before winter was upon them. The nights were already getting colder - a dry, bitter cold that chilled to the bones. The first snow could come early; they needed to move soon.

The soldier had also told them the flowers were thought to have medicinal properties. Eren didn’t seem to care that they might be able to use the flowers not only to mollify the Titans, but possibly as a cure for the shifters. Levi tried unsuccessfully to quash the sharp spikes of hope he felt each time the thought crossed his mind.

“I do understand.” Eren glared at him. “It’s just that we don’t even know if what he told us is true, and we’ve been fine these past few years eliminating the Titans on our own. Everything we do should take us a step closer to Marley, and this is a distraction. Levi, how can _you_ of all people not agree with me on this?”

Eren’s single-minded, stubborn nature had sparked something deep within Levi from the moment they met, but it was maddening when directed at him.

Not for the first time, Levi was about to point out Eren’s utter lack of self-regard and strategic insight when he noticed Sara, one of the more timid members of their squad, standing in Levi’s doorway. Her hand was raised, about to knock on the door, which Eren hadn’t bothered to shut, but she was too polite to interrupt.

“Don’t bother waiting for Eren to finish, Sara. You’ll grow old and die where you stand.” Eren shot him an indignant look. “What do you need?”

Sara was an accomplished soldier - Levi had fought Mikasa for her, and he hadn’t been above sending Eren in to do his dirty work - but you would never guess it from the way she acted like a terrified mouse out of her gear.

“Well, uh,” she mumbled, “Commander Hanji asked if I could fetch you and Team Leader Eren, sir. They said you’d probably both be in here.”

They left the room, Sara scurrying ahead of them. Eren asked Levi in an undertone, “Why would we both be in here?” as though he were not in here every night ensuring Levi never had a moment’s peace. Levi scoffed but otherwise didn’t respond.

Armin and Hanji were pouring over a map on Hanji’s desk, so deep in quiet discussion that they didn’t look up when Eren and Levi arrived. A quick glance at Eren revealed he wasn’t pleased. Over the years, Levi had noted with some pride that Eren had become far more adept at displaying a calm veneer, but he still had his tells. His teeth were clenched, jaw working. It wasn’t clear why Hanji and Armin’s closeness was getting under his skin.  

Levi cleared his throat to announce their presence.

They both looked up, and Hanji smiled. “Thanks for coming. We’re just waiting for Mikasa now.”  

As if summoned by her name, Mikasa appeared in the doorway. She gave a perfunctory nod to Levi and Eren. Eren had alluded to a disagreement, but hadn’t gone into detail. Levi was unsure why her annoyance seemed to have been extended to him as though his proximity to Eren made him guilty of the crime by association.

“Armin and I have been planning the next recon route. Your squads will resupply camp C here before you continue onwards. From there, you’ll continue on to the area marked on the map and see if you can find what we’re after.”  

Levi waited for Eren to pipe up with his arguments, but he stayed silent. Mikasa watched Eren too, mouth set in a firm line. She looked relieved when Eren merely nodded at Hanji’s outline of the plan.

Perhaps their argument was the same one that Eren and Levi had been having. It would make sense, and of course Eren would withhold this information from Levi. Keep your friends close, your enemies closer, and your enemies as far apart from one another as possible, lest they join forces against you.

“Don’t worry, Eren. We’ll get to Marley,” Armin said, sensing his friend’s frustration.

Eren made a sound of acknowledgement, but didn't say anything. Armin's smile didn't falter.

Mikasa crossed her arms and sighed. "When do we leave?"

"Your squads set off tomorrow afternoon."

She nodded once. "If that's all, I have a few things to take care of this evening."

"Before you're dismissed," Hanji said, "I just have one more thing I want to discuss." She and Armin exchanged glances, and Levi was certain Armin was starting to blush. What the fuck?

Mikasa and Eren both stiffened. If you were unsure of how to read Eren, you needed only to watch his hands. He had fallen into his nervous habit of pushing his hair back out of his face.

"Armin and I are...seeing each other." Hanji said. The words hung awkwardly in the air.

"Yes," Armin added, "and we felt it was time we were transparent with you."

"Thank you for the transparency, but to be honest, I don't really give a shit what any of you do between the sheets.” Levi gestured between everyone in the room. “Why exactly are you telling us this?"

"Because we want to keep everything above-board, and apparently there’s absolutely no official policy on the matter.” Hanji sighed. “I’m going to start working on one as soon as possible, but I’ll need you all to consult on it...as part of an unbiased, special committee, if you will. It won’t exactly be seen as an unbiased document if I’m the one writing it.”

“Are we the only ones on this ‘committee’?” Mikasa asked. Her voice was flat, but there was something off about her. Levi thought she seemed uneasy.

“Once he’s back, I’ll ask Jean to be on it as well,” Hanji replied. Mikasa’s frown only deepened.  

“I’ll be helping put the document together, but I won’t have a hand in the content,” Armin said. “And Connie and Sasha recused themselves for obvious reasons.”

That was awfully convenient, Levi thought. It was more likely they knew what a tedious affair this would be and had opted out using an ironclad argument.

Levi knew Eren was uncomfortable, but he wasn’t expecting him to look downright furious. He gritted out, “I’m very happy for you both. Are we dismissed now?”

“Oh, yes. Thank you all for your understanding and discretion. I’ll start drafting the guidelines and review with you all shortly. Dismissed.”

Eren stalked out of the room, heading in the opposite direction from their quarters. Levi didn’t follow him, and neither did Mikasa.

“Well, aren’t you going to chase after him?” Levi asked.

She shook her head. “Please. I haven’t had to chase after him in years. That’s your job.”

Levi was taken aback. Now he did want to know what had pissed her off so much and why he was caught in the crossfire. “What the hell does that mean?”

The scrutinising look she leveled him with was unsettling. “Nothing, I guess.”  

Levi watched her disappear down the hall wondering how the night had taken such a strange turn.

 

 

 

Eren wasn’t pleased to be embarking on yet another mission which brought them no closer to fighting their enemies across the sea.

He trusted Armin and Hanji’s plans for the most part, but...what if Hanji was prioritising this mission because of her relationship with Armin? Levi accused him of not caring about finding a cure, but that wasn’t true. He just knew what his priorities were, and they already had plenty of weapons at their disposal - was this really the best use of their time, to search for something that might not even exist?

Eren frowned at the fire, settled in for the night at their camp. It had been a long week. Keeping constant watch for Titans (though their numbers had thinned dramatically over the years and they mostly encountered only an abnormal or two on this side of the wall) and searching for the flowers.

He was unmoored and out of sorts. Hanji’s potential bias wasn’t what was bothering him most.  While it was true that Eren had always known what his priorities were, if given the chance to be with the person he cared for, he would. As long as it didn't impact his goal to destroy their enemies, he could no longer see any reason why he and Levi should not be together. That is, if it was what Levi wanted too.

On the opposite side of the fire, Levi was in deep conversation with Kara, a member of Mikasa’s squad. Eren watched them through the flames, like a prophecy.

There had been times over the years when he’d suspected he was not alone in feeling the spark between Levi and himself. At first Eren thought, _maybe If I was older_ . Then he'd thought, _maybe if I wasn't his subordinate_. He felt like Levi’s equal now, his friend. They spent more time together than anyone, and still it wasn’t enough. But maybe there were still rules that prohibited it, and Eren had never forgotten how adherent Levi was to the rules.

So much for that. If Armin could start a relationship with the commander...well. It seemed Eren's suspicions were wrong yet again. Hanji had said there were no guidelines to speak of, hence the ridiculous special committee! Perhaps it was time to accept the truth, that maybe he’d entirely misjudged the situation.

Levi probably wanted someone older, more experienced. Some of the newer recruits met that description: transfers from the Military Police, all drawn to Levi. He’d warmed to two in particular - Kara and Victor - and Eren often went in search of Levi only to find him engaged in a game of chess or a discussion about books with one or the other. Victor spoke with poise and confidence, exuding calm energy. Kara was sharp, with a biting sense of humor.

As the thought crossed his mind, Levi snorted at something Kara said. Eren stood abruptly and walked away. He saw the rest of his squad huddled together by one of the smaller fires, roasting bits of meat, chatting quietly. Gavin and Lily were bickering as usual while Sara held up her hands as though to protect herself. She spotted him and waved, and though her expression was pleading, Eren couldn’t bring himself to join them.

They were surrounded by forest, their base in a small clearing with good visibility of the surrounding area. Eren kicked at stray branches as he wandered the perimeter of the campsite.

It was a shame Jean wasn’t there to mope with. Theirs was a strange camaraderie. Though they never discussed it, Eren knew a shared loneliness was the main catalyst for their friendship. Longing for an Ackerman made for strange bedfellows. He didn’t want to be the one to break it to Jean that Mikasa would probably never be interested in him. Eren had never seen her express interest in anyone before.

He was still feeling sorry for himself, contemplating moving deeper into the forest, when he heard light footsteps behind him.

“You left your cloak,” Levi said, draping it over Eren’s shoulders.

Eren smiled despite himself. “Thanks. You know I run hot, though.”

Levi reached for the cloak again. “Fine. I can go put it back, if you like.”

“No no, that’s fine.” Eren batted his hand away, laughing.

They were still close enough to their comrades to hear chattering and the odd burst of laughter but far enough that it felt private. Levi’s face was illuminated by the lanterns sat around the camp, his eyes flickering over Eren as though he were considering him with care. Eren wanted all the space between them to disappear.

“You must have really pissed Mikasa off if she let you wander away on your own like this,” Levi observed.

“Oh.” Eren waved his hand dismissively. “She’s still just annoyed that I’m not leading my own squad, and I’m not on hers. She’s got Armin, though, at least.” Armin was a much better Team Leader for Mikasa than Eren would ever be. That wasn’t all their fight had been about, but Eren was too embarrassed and still too confused by the argument to explain it to Levi.

“Hm.” Levi considered this. “Well why aren’t you?”

“On Mikasa’s squad? I thought that was obvious.”

Aside from their recent disagreement, he and Mikasa had fallen into a harmonious rhythm over the past year. Eren wasn’t stupid; he’d realised that their relationship had improved tenfold when she’d focussed on building and leading her own squad. In the space she’d given Eren to breathe, he’d been able to develop a new kind of respect and fondness for his sister. Putting them back on the same squad would probably ruin that progress.

Levi snorted. Of course he understood. “No. Leading your own.”

“You’re not going to tell me to accept the promotion again, are you? I can’t tell if you’re joking anymore.”

He wished they could just forget about Hanji’s offer entirely. It only embarrassed Eren when it came up. Mostly because he found it difficult to articulate the reasoning behind his refusal. It made sense in his heart, it was his head that needed to catch up.

“I was never joking.”

“It’s pretty convenient you only seem to bring it up when I’m disagreeing with you,” Eren teased, delighted when Levi cracked a smile in response.  

“You’ve still never given me a straightforward answer.”

“To be honest, I’m worried you won’t understand.”

“Try me.”

It had been a mistake not to let Levi take the cloak back. Eren was hot everywhere now. He stumbled over the words in his head before blurting out, “Because I need to be with you.”

He trusted Levi. They could predict one another’s movements in battle with little to no communication, whether Eren was in or out of his Titan form. They were better together. At least, Eren was better with Levi.

Levi’s eyes widened a fraction.

Everything around them seemed to go still. Eren could no longer hear voices drifting over from the campsite, animals scurrying around the forest, the wind rustling the trees. His heart was beating loudly, blood rushing in his ears. He wished upon all the stars glittering brightly in the sky that he could express this truth without exposing a deeper one.

“I mean, you...when we fight, I can’t not be by your side.” God, this really wasn’t coming out right at all. His face burned. “You’ve always brought out the best in me.” That was marginally better. He shot a grateful look up at the stars, mostly as an excuse to look away from Levi for a moment.

The explanation seemed to reassure Levi, and his shoulders relaxed. Eren ignored the slight disappointment that blinked through him.

“Alright then. That suits me fine,” Levi said.

“Really?”

“Yeah. It would be a pain in the ass to have to pick a new Team Leader. You’re not bad.”

Eren ducked his head, hiding his grin. As he followed Levi back in the direction of their tents he said, “Hey, do you think Hanji is actually going to put together those regulations they mentioned?”

Levi snorted. “I do, but I don’t think it’s going to go the way they expect.”

“What do you mean?”

“Oh, you’ll see when we get back, I’m sure.”

“Hey! That’s not fair. Come on, Levi, tell me.”

“That would ruin the fun.”

 

 

 

A few days later they ventured farther East, still within the radius on their maps. The cover of the forest was long gone, and they needed to be more alert than ever. Open spaces like these meant nowhere to find purchase for their maneuver gear, which put everyone on edge.

The land didn’t look particularly fertile, and morale and patience were waning as the days dragged on. Gavin and Lilly weren’t even arguing, too exhausted to muster up a debate.  

A light, cold rain fell as they explored, and Levi’s face was obscured by his cloak. Eren wanted to see his face. He wondered if Levi was also thinking this was a waste of time, and was opening his mouth to ask when a flare went up. It was coming from the direction of Mikasa’s squad.

“Come on.” Levi tugged the reins on his horse and led the squad in the direction of the flare.

They’d been travelling at a measured pace to keep a careful eye out, but now their horses galloped, only slowing when they reached a ridge overlooking a deep valley. The other squad was there; it was Armin who had sent up the flare, gun still in hand. He and Mikasa were staring down at the lush valley beneath them. It was something out of time, encapsulated in an eternal spring.

There was a group of no less than twenty Titans clustered together in a circle at the centre of the valley. They appeared to be staring reverently down at the ground.

“What are they doing?” Lily asked.

“We’ve been here for a good twenty minutes and they haven’t so much as looked at us,” Kara said.

Levi dropped down from his horse and drew his blades. “Everyone step back so Eren and Armin can transform. We’re going to see what it takes to get their attention.”

But Eren and Armin weren’t listening to Levi, they were listening to a distant melody and smelling a sweet perfume.

“Do you feel that?” Eren asked coming to stand beside Armin.

“Yeah,” Armin breathed.

Their wits started to return, though Eren was still awash in a light, peaceful feeling throughout his transformation.

Levi had expressed concern that they might be rendered useless like the Titans at the center of the valley. He and Mikasa stayed close to Eren and Armin as they approached the distracted Titans.

Armin and Eren moved slower, almost drunkenly, but were able to stay in control. It wouldn’t have made much difference if they hadn’t, though. The Titans barely reacted as Eren and Armin tore them apart.  

When they were finished, they stared down at the beautiful flowers that had enraptured the Titans. The flowers came in so many different colors - brilliant blues and purples, oranges and reds, even on the same stems. Up close, Eren felt inexplicably good, a feeling that stayed with him the whole journey back to HC. He kept smiling dazedly at Levi who gave him odd looks in return.

Thanks to Hanji’s experiments they found that, when encased in glass, the flower lost its effect. Though it didn’t give him the same sensation when it was behind the glass in its vase, Eren still found himself drawn to it, gazing at it in wonder as the days went on. He allowed himself to wonder if maybe this flower really did have the potential to heal him.

 

 

 

After Hanji’s excitement surrounding the flowers had dulled to a manageable roar, attentions turned once again to the regulations.

As Levi had anticipated, things had not been going well. Hanji called a meeting after a grueling day of training. Levi had been looking forward to a nice bath and a book by his fireplace (though it was a near certainty that Eren would come barreling in at some point) when again Sara arrived at his door summoning him on Hanji’s behalf. Hanji really needed to stop using Sara as their personal errand girl.

The special committee reluctantly gathered in Hanji’s office.

“What’s going on?” Eren asked, taking a seat next to Jean who was already at the table. Jean appeared bored and distracted, a facade only betrayed by the furtive glances he kept casting at Mikasa.   

Eren looked bedraggled, hair loose from his ponytail and covering his eyes. No doubt he was exhausted too. Levi knew Eren hadn’t been sleeping well lately. He’d taken most of the late-night watch shifts with him during the expedition, and even when he was meant to be sleeping, Levi bumped into him at odd hours of the night.

Levi sat in one of the chairs against the wall near where Mikasa stood, arms folded against her chest. “I’m positive I don’t want to fucking know.” While he recognised there was no way in hell the regulations would go smoothly, they’d only been gone a few weeks. It couldn’t possibly be that bad or require his involvement.

“I announced that we were working on guidelines for relationships in the SC and that if anyone had anything they wanted to discuss, my door was always open.” Hanji shook a piece of paper at them. “This was supposed to be the first draft, but apparently everyone has been under the impression relations are forbidden.”

Levi raised an eyebrow. “So?”

Hanji gave him a miserable look. “So they’ve all been coming to my office, divulging their relationships, thinking they need to plead their cases. I can’t get anything done!”

Eren stared at Hanji in bewilderment. Not for the first time, Levi was amused at how oblivious Eren could be.

“Turning up in droves?” Eren echoed.

“The Corps is a hotbed for fucking,” Levi said, and Eren looked startled.

At one point a few years ago, Levi had issued a ban on supply closet escapades, punishable with complex, herculean tasks around headquarters. He realised with dismay that this probably gave him more experience creating official policies for workplace romance than anyone else on this special committee.  

“I thought maybe that would have changed,” Hanji said. “I always thought it was because our survival rates were so low before...why can’t they just go to the local brothels or take up with some nice civilians now?”

“That’s just a bit hypocritical,” Armin said, but he was smiling at Hanji fondly.

Levi didn’t make a habit of meddling in the personal affairs of others (though he did occasionally indulge Eren in some late-night gossip over tea), but he was happy that Hanji had found a kindred spirit in Armin.

When Hanji had been named commander, Levi hadn’t been the best source of support, and he was grateful someone else had stepped in. Those first few months had been slow and miserable, everyone adrift and alone. Eren had tiptoed around him like he was afraid Levi was about to throw a punch, like Levi was dangerous, and then one day he stopped. Levi still remembered the determined look in Eren’s eyes when he’d shown up at his door and pulled him into his arms without a word. Since then, Levi hadn’t been able to shake Eren.  

It was around that same time, Levi realised, that Armin and Hanji were side by side more often than not, sat together at every meal, testing Armin’s Titan powers, discussing strategies for clearing Paradis of Titans.   

Hanji smiled back. “It might be hypocritical, but you can’t tell me it wouldn’t make my life easier.”

Eren was still digesting this information, frowning at Levi.

“Come on, Eren. Even you must have picked up on this. Surely you noticed Petra and Oluo sneaking off. They weren’t exactly subtle.” Levi rolled his eyes.

Eren’s eyebrows shot up again. “What!? You’ve got to be kidding me.”

“Afraid not,” Levi said without sympathy. He decided against pointing out that Gavin and Lily were exactly the same. Lily’s lectures to Gavin never failed to stir a bit of nostalgia in Levi’s heart. The shock might be too much for Eren.

Armin grabbed a pen and began jotting something down. “Not only do we have to be concerned about objectivity between subordinates and higher ranking officers, but even among members of the same squad.”

“Seriously,” Hanji sighed. “There are some great brothels in Mitras. High quality, clean.”

Levi scoffed. “They’re all disgusting and you know it.”

Eren was still staring at him, and it was irritating because Levi didn’t understand what his expression meant this time. He looked almost hurt now.

Jean spoke up, “I think we need to clarify something. Are these guidelines for people in relationships or who are just sleeping around?”

Mikasa shot a sharp glance at Jean, then caught herself. Her expression went blank again and she turned her head away.

 _Fuck,_ Levi thought as he watched the silent drama play out between Jean and Mikasa. _This is not Eren’s week._

They discussed the ins and outs for another hour. Hanji thanked everyone for their suggestions and promised to show them a draft soon.

Eren followed Levi out of the room. “So all this time, everyone’s just been going around secretly falling in love?”

Levi snorted. “I wouldn’t call it falling in love.”

“Well some of it must be.” Eren was more thoughtful now than angry. He was looking at Levi a little sadly, and not for the first time Levi wondered if he should...But he pushed the thought aside and bid Eren goodnight.

 

 

 

The next day, Eren was surprised to see Jean sitting outside Hanji’s office. When he spotted Eren his expression turned to one of shame. Eren was confused. If Jean had moved on from Mikasa and was in a relationship with someone new that was great. Just because Eren was still moping over Levi didn’t mean Jean had to mope about Mikasa forever.

Then Mikasa stepped out of Hanji’s office and put a hand on Jean’s shoulder.

Jean flicked his eyes to where Eren was standing. Mikasa turned, and stared at him. She didn’t blush, but she didn’t look too happy to see him there either.

“Well, you were bound to figure it out sometime,” she said.    

“I really don’t know that he was,” Jean said, watching Eren warily.

Something that had been irking Eren suddenly clicked into place. When he and Mikasa had argued, she had said something that was decidedly un-Mikasa. _It’s like you’re so unwaveringly selfless that you actually become selfish._

Eren had been so caught up in their disagreement that he hadn’t realised those weren’t Mikasa’s words at all. She had said them as though she were reciting a line from a play.

“Eren, come back!” Mikasa called after him as he hurried away, furious and exposed.

When he refused to stop she had the nerve to follow him. She grabbed his arm and forcefully dragged him to the castle’s study, where Armin was usually holed up when he wasn’t training or strategizing.  

As expected, Armin was sat in one of the armchairs, a book in his lap. He startled as Eren and Mikasa made their loud entrance.

“What the hell are you doing?” Eren whined, tugging his arm out of Mikasa’s grasp. “Just leave me alone.”

His pleas fell on deaf ears. “I need you to help me talk some sense into him.”

Armin tried to suppress a smile. “You could mean any number of things. Could you be more specific?”

“He just found out about Jean and me.”

“You knew?” Eren accused.

“Well, yes.” Armin calmly shut his book. “You haven’t exactly been receptive to discussions of this sort. You were clearly upset about Hanji and myself.”

“That’s not true!”

“Yes it is,” Mikasa countered. “That’s why we fought that night.”   

Eren scrambled to recall exactly how that argument had progressed. Mikasa had said he should be glad for Armin because Eren of all people should understand his situation, that if he was unhappy and jealous it was no one’s fault but his own.

He turned to Armin. “I _am_ happy for you. All I said to Mikasa was that even if I did want the same thing with Levi that you have with Hanji, it didn’t matter.” His face burnt, but he didn’t look away. So what if they had figured out how he felt about Levi? He wasn’t ashamed.

“Eren, I think we’re all attempting to find happiness where we can in what little time we might have left. The way you seem to resist finding any of it for yourself seems almost pathological. Mikasa was only trying to make you see that it doesn’t have to be one way or the other. It doesn’t mean you have to give up the fight.”

He looked between them. “What the hell does that have to do with what we’re talking about?”

“You and Levi,” Armin said. “It’s obvious your feelings are mutual, so why are you denying yourself time together?”

Eren stared in disbelief. He’d never said anything about denying himself time with Levi. And, wait...“What do you mean it’s obvious the feelings are mutual?”

Armin and Mikasa exchanged looks.

“You must know what everyone says about you,” Mikasa said.  

“What does everyone say about us?” Eren narrowed his eyes.

“That you’re married,” Armin said sheepishly, when it became clear Mikasa was too busy smirking to elaborate.

“Hanji thought that if they put you both on the special committee, you might finally admit something was going on between you two. Smoking you out, if you will.”

“Which is what happened with you and Jean,” Eren said to Mikasa.

“Yes well, we’re much more subtle than you two, yet somehow we’re the ones that are together.”

“Look,” Eren retorted, “Levi is the bluntest, most honest person I’ve ever met. If he wanted to be with me, he’d be with me.”

“He’s just as much of an idiot as you in some ways,” Mikasa said. “I thought maybe if he finally got his act together, it might make you care about finding a cure. I mean, do you know how it’s felt for me? ”

So the fight with Mikasa hadn’t made sense because they’d been having separate conversations. He felt a little embarrassed at the misunderstanding, but how was he supposed to know she was under the impression that his was a self-inflicted misery, borne from a misguided sense of sacrifice when the truth was much simpler. If Levi wanted him, there should be nothing holding him back now.

He felt a sharp stab of sadness as her words sunk in. That she believed he might only care about a cure if he was with Levi. He loved her terribly, though he was still awful at expressing it. The thought of leaving Mikasa behind, alone, was gut-wrenching.

“I do care,” Eren said quietly. About Levi, life beyond the war if there was a chance for one, how Mikasa felt about the idea of behind left behind. “But being with Levi wouldn’t have changed my mind about looking for the flowers. I mean, I’m glad we found them, but nothing else matters unless we’re really free. Don’t you get that?”  

“Eren,” Armin said, “It’s okay to let things matter before the war is over. I realised that when I got my second chance - deserved or not.” He held up a hand as Eren opened his mouth, ready for old arguments to surface. “Hanji was always there for me, even though I was the reason they were put in a situation they didn’t feel ready for. They had a heavy burden to carry because of me, and I wanted to do everything in my power to help. We both knew it was problematic for the commander to be involved with someone within the Corps, but if we can do our best to be honest, to stay accountable...well, I don’t think we should have to wait until the war is over.”

Mikasa squeezed Armin’s shoulder. Eren blinked back tears.

Going to search for the flower hadn’t really been a conflict of interest, nor had it interfered with any existing plans. It’s what Levi had been trying to tell him.

“Armin, how did you and Hanji get together?” The night Armin had privately told Eren and Mikasa about his relationship, Eren hadn’t bothered to ask.

Armin hesitated, his cheeks pink. “It was after we interrogated the Marleyan soldier, after he mentioned there might be a cure. I was surprised by how...affected Hanji seemed by this. Later that night they told me they had tried not to think about how it would feel if I survived the war only to die that way...and then I kissed them.”

Eren gave Armin a small smile. He was impressed and surprised that Armin had been the one to make the first move. “Were you scared?”

“Not really, no. I had a feeling Hanji felt the same, and the moment was right. And I trusted our relationship enough to know that even if they didn’t, we’d be able to move beyond it.”

“Oh,” Eren said, looking down at his hands. “I hadn’t thought of it like that.”

He turned to Mikasa. “What about you and Jean?”

“You really don’t want to hear that story,” she said.

Armin laughed, and Eren pulled a face.

“Well, who made the first move then? Tell us that,” Eren suggested.

“Jean did. I probably would have eventually, but it was fun watching him squirm.” She laughed, and then seemed surprised at herself for doing so.

Eren shook his head, but he was smiling now too. “Sometimes I feel like I don’t know you anymore.”

“Well, you know where to find me. It’s been nice talking to you like this.”

The surprise and happiness on Mikasa’s face when he reached out and took her hand moved Eren. He didn’t mind fighting with Mikasa over things like who would join their squad or training techniques, but he’d hated the recent tension between them.

Armin stood, looking at them both fondly. “I still have some chocolate left from the market. Should I go make us a few mugs of hot chocolate?”

His offer was met with eager nods. Mikasa went to retrieve more logs for the fire while Eren went to find some spare quilts. It was rare for it just to be the three of them anymore. They lingered in the study together long after they’d sipped their hot chocolate, sat in comfortable silence.

“I’m happy for you,” Eren said quietly. “Both of you.”   

His friends smiled back at him, and Eren felt something in his chest ease.

 

 

 

The first snow of the year was falling, and the castle hallways were freezing. Everyone clamored into the common spaces together, using the fireplaces to keep them warm. But Eren was alone in his room watching the snowfall from his window, holding the glass bottle of moonshine he’d bought from Connie. He’d requested it for Levi’s birthday, infused with cranberries Eren had bought from the market just before they went out of season. Connie had assured him that he’d been practicing fruit-infusions, though Eren was skeptical until he’d done his initial taste-test and found it was surprisingly good.  

He thought Levi would enjoy the novelty. In case he didn’t, Eren had also picked up a couple tins of tea. It wasn’t hard to save for treats like these. Eren wasn’t much one for indulgences and shopping for himself.    

Eren was still mulling over his conversation with Armin and Mikasa over again when he noticed the time. The tins of tea were wrapped already, so he quickly tied a bow onto the neck of the moonshine bottle with a ribbon he’d begged off Sasha and headed to Levi’s room.

They settled on the floor in front of the fireplace, the chessboard and their drinks laid out around them. Levi had retrieved an extra blanket from his room, and now he draped it over Eren’s shoulders, careful not to jostle his drink. Eren murmured his thanks, trying to ignore the warmth in his chest that wasn’t from the moonshine.

“You know I run hot,” he reminded him, but Levi only shrugged.

He thought of the night in the forest, how Levi had draped Eren’s cloak over his shoulders then. There were countless times like that, where Levi seemed to understand that no matter how warm Eren’s body was, he still was cold. That familiar ache settled in the pit of his stomach again. He wanted what apparently the rest of the Corps seemed to have. He wanted something even better.

“What’s on your mind?”

Eren realised he’d been brooding, fixated on his glass without drinking. He was being awful company. “Things have just been a little weird lately, that’s all.”

“Are you jealous of Armin and Hanji?” Eren appreciated Levi’s directness, but he was still caught off-guard by the question.

“What?” He blinked at Levi. “Why would you say that?”

“Well, you get that same constipated look on your face whenever you see them together,” Levi said. “Seems like that might have been what you were thinking about.”

“I don’t get a constipated look!”

“Sure you do.”

He felt guilty if what Levi said was true, which it probably was. Eren couldn’t help the jealousy, though he’d meant it when he told Armin he was happy for him. This longing had been inside of Eren for so long that it was almost another organ. He thought he’d adjusted to it, but now it was unbearable.

“Have you ever, you know, been with someone in the Corps?” Eren blurted out.

Levi’s expression was inscrutable as ever. “Yes,” he answered. Nothing else seemed to be forthcoming. Eren felt a stab of envy as he wondered who it had been, what they might have been able to offer to Levi, whether it had been easier for them than it was for Eren.

He forced himself to meet Levi’s eyes. “A subordinate?”

Levi stared back at him. Eren’s heart was racing; it felt like he was staring off the edge of a cliff.

“No.”

“Why not?”

“Eren - ”

“I haven’t.” Eren pushed forward, afraid Levi was going to shut this down before he could jump off the cliff’s edge. He took another sip from his cup. He wanted to jump. “Been with anyone in the Corps I mean.”

“Why are you telling me this?” Levi asked.

Eren tried to think of a way to explain why this had been his roundabout answer to Levi’s question. That Eren had been so certain it was Levi’s sense of propriety that was keeping them apart, his strict adherence to the rules. Here Armin and Commander Hanji were, doing their best to keep everything fair and transparent, and they were happy. It made Eren feel cheated somehow.

“Levi,” Eren ran a hand through his hair, trying to find the words. “There’s no one else for me but you. And I don’t know, maybe over the years I started seeing what I wanted to see...but I thought maybe you felt it too. I thought maybe the only thing keeping us apart was that even though I’m your Team Leader, I’m still your subordinate,” Eren said in a rush.

There really had never been anyone else. He’d had a few fumbling trysts when he was still a trainee, but ultimately they’d been pointless and unsatisfying.

For the better part of his life, Eren had barely been able to see beyond his thirst to exterminate the Titans, to avenge all the lives they’d snuffed out. It had been a wonder that the clouds had parted, revealing Levi, and Eren had bent towards him like a flower to the sun.  

Levi blinked at him. “Right,” he said.

Just as he’d begun to deflate, Eren realized that Levi wasn’t correcting his assumptions.

Levi set his glass down on the floor beside him, reached out his hand and tangled it in Eren’s hair. As soon as their eyes locked, Eren was on Levi, both hands cupping his face as he kissed him. It felt unreal, the sweetest of dreams, as he nibbled on Levi’s parted lips then licked his way inside. Eren shoved the chessboard out of the way and moved forward to straddle Levi who let out a soft, appreciative moan in response.

When they finally broke their kiss, both of Levi’s hands still in Eren’s hair, his eyes glazed, Eren breathed, “I can’t believe it.”

“What?”

“That you want this too.” _That you want me._ “I thought maybe there was someone else. ”

“Who the fuck else did you think there’d be?” Levi looked at Eren in disbelief. “We don’t exactly have an abundance of options.”

Eren felt as though he had reached barehanded for a pan, expecting it to be cool, only to find it was scalding. He swallowed and mustered a pained smile and pulled himself off of Levi’s lap. “Good point.”

Levi regarded him with concern. “Eren, what is it?”

“I don’t - I don’t want to win just because no one else is competing.”

“That’s the most idiotic and flattering thing I’ve ever heard.” Levi sighed. He touched his fingers to his forehead, leaning on his knee. “I’m not very good at this sort of thing, Eren. You probably know that by now.”

Eren didn’t dare to breath. Hope choked him.

“I was just stating a fact. I couldn’t fathom where you’d gotten the idea from that there could be someone else.” Levi pressed his face harder into this fingers, looking pained by whatever it was he was trying to say. “Even if there _were_ an abundance of options, there wouldn’t be anyone but you.”

There was no way Eren would ever remember how to breathe again. “Levi, I--” Eren tried. He stood and pulled Levi up too. Levi appraised him, his expression wary. “I’ve wanted this for so long, years. Even before I really knew it was what I wanted. If it’s too much for you, you have to tell me.”  

Levi cupped Eren’s chin, silencing him sweetly. “You can see this is a bad idea, can’t you?”

“No,” Eren said. Nothing had ever seemed a better idea to him. They had been doing this for years, anyway, in hindsight. This was the part Eren was least afraid of.

“Well, we don’t seem to have many good ideas in this life, do we?”

Eren grinned and bent to meet Levi’s lips again.

 

 

 

If pressed, Levi would not have been able to recall the exact moment he fell in love with Eren. It was the sort of thing he’d made a point not to dwell on, but now that it had been unleashed he couldn’t get the thought out of his head.  

Since the night Eren had confessed, they’d fucked every which way. Levi couldn’t keep his hands off him anymore. He couldn’t fathom how he ever had.

There didn’t seem to be any limits to what Levi was willing to give him. If Eren asked for it rougher, Levi would lift him from the bed and fuck him on the floor. If Eren wanted it slower, Levi would switch to languid, loving thrusts, pinning Eren’s hands above his head. If Eren wanted Levi to ride him, Levi would climb gamely into his lap, sink down onto Eren’s waiting cock, and work him into a frenzy.

Levi hoped Eren felt a fool for doubting his desire. He was starved for Eren, apparently.

Tonight, Eren had him on all fours on the bed. “Shift your hips to the left a little...oh god, yes, just like that. _Levi_ ,” he moaned, his grip on Levi’s hips tightening. Levi closed his eyes as Eren hit that sweet spot within him. He was a fast learner, eager to know exactly what Levi liked.

“Can I…?” Eren asked and Levi knew what he meant and nodded, head dropping between his braced forearms. All he wanted in that moment was Eren fucking him in earnest, holding nothing back. There weren’t many things in the world that Levi trusted more than his own strength, but he was starting to think that Eren’s was one of those things too.

Eren pulled Levi up so he was on his knees, back flush against Eren’s chest.

“Fuck, you’re so good.” Levi was still trying to suss out the impact that kind of talk had on Eren. “You know just what I like.”

“Oh, you bastard. Don’t. I’ll never last that way.” Eren stilled, breathing hard, and slid his free hand over Levi’s chest, pinching one of his nipples a little harder than necessary, but it made his cock jerk. Anything Eren did right now would probably have that effect. He was so hard in Eren’s hand already.  

“Come on, Eren, harder,” he urged. “You know how good you make me feel.”

Eren’s thrusts became rougher, more erratic. Levi could feel how close he was, wanted to tip him over the edge.

“I want you to come for me.”

“Damn it, Levi,” Eren moaned as he came. He pulled out of Levi and flipped him onto his back.

“What are you doing?” Levi watched Eren with heavy-lidded eyes.

“I think you know,” Eren said before he began to lap at Levi’s cock.

“Don’t tease.”

Eren, wonderfully obedient, sucked him off in earnest.

Afterward, they cleaned themselves off in Levi’s bathroom, and pulled on their warmer sleepwear. Eren stayed over most nights now, careful to slip out in the morning before anyone else was awake.

With Eren sharing his bed, Levi slept differently, better. He changed out of his regular clothes, he used the bed, and he fell asleep for longer bouts of time. When he inevitably awoke in the middle of the night, he would listen to Eren’s heartbeat, lulled by the rhythm of his chest rising and falling. In the darkest, quietest parts of the night he would allow himself to think the words he was not yet ready to speak.

“We really shouldn’t be on the special committee now,” Eren said. He crawled into bed next to Levi, arranging himself so they lay face to face.

Levi propped himself up on his elbow. “That’s a good point. If only we’d started this sooner. Connie and Sasha had the right idea.” Without thinking, he pushed a stray strand of hair out of Eren’s face.

“I wish we had thought of it sooner,” Eren said wistfully. “Levi, if there were never any official rules against it, why didn’t you ever…” He trailed off, worrying at his bottom lip.

“I’m older, your superior. It felt wrong to push.” He’d suspected Eren might harbor feelings that were more than friendly. It had been easier to dismiss them as a youthful crush he would one day grow out of. The true depth of Eren’s feelings touched Levi more than he could have imagined.

“I’m glad then,” Eren said. “That I’m the one that pushed.”

“You have always been very pushy.” Levi agreed. “I’m almost offended this was the time you chose to be patient.”

“I’ll try not to make the same mistake twice.” Eren laced their fingers together.

Not for the first time, Levi was grateful for Eren’s warmth. The nights were only growing colder. Perhaps this year, what was normally the loneliest stretch of winter, would not be so bad after all.  

Eren was quiet for so long that Levi thought he might have fallen asleep. “You would never let your feelings for me compromise our mission, right?” Eren asked.

“No.” He never had and he never would.

“You would have still agreed to go searching for the flower even if you didn’t think it might cure me?”

“Yes. I would have argued to prioritise another course of action if I’d thought there was something more pressing.”

“Could you still kill me?” Eren asked quietly.

“Yes. If I had to.” _But it would kill me too,_ Levi thought, staring up into the darkness. 

This seemed to satisfy Eren; Levi could feel him nodding.

He was grateful for the dark. It allowed him to say, “I’m glad we found it.” He was talking about the flower. He was talking about everything. Eren would understand.

“Yeah, me too,” Eren rasped. Levi turned and pulled him into his arms.

“Well,” Levi said, trying to distract himself from the tightness in his chest, the rawness in his throat. “I suppose we’d better tell Hanji about us then.”

 

 

 

Hanji was delighted and also distressed by their announcement. They clapped their hands together. “Finally!” they declared. Then quickly added, “But Eren can’t be your Team Leader anymore, Levi.”  

Eren began to protest, unwilling to give up this fight easily. He’d prepared his arguments that morning. Hanji cut him off. “I could put you on Mikasa’s squad if you still don’t want to run your own. At least in the interim.”

Levi scoffed, “That’s an even worse idea.” At the same time Eren was saying, “That’s a terrible idea.”

Eren thought it was obvious that Levi was far less likely to let favoritism impact their work than Mikasa was.

“You think of a better solution then,” Hanji challenged.  

“Hm.” Levi walked over to Hanji’s desk and picked up their copy of the official Survey Corps ‘sex guidelines’. “I’m sure there’s some bullshit in here that says he can stay on my squad.”

Eren tried not to openly swoon over Levi’s determination.   

Hanji groaned, and covered their eyes. “Levi, I’ve only just gotten these policies sorted. Why are you doing this to me?”

Levi ignored her and went back to scanning the paper. “Ah,” he said, sounding almost excited by his standards. “Here. Paragraph eight, section four. With the exception of married colleagues.”   

“That’s meant to be for people who were already married!”

“In that case, you should have been more specific,” he said lightly. “I think we’ve found our solution.”

Eren’s mouth was agape, eyes wide. He replayed Levi’s words over and over again.

Realization dawned on Hanji - one moment they were annoyed and the next overcome with excitement. “Did you just propose to Eren?”

His wits now (somewhat) about him, Eren joined in. “Yeah, did you just propose to me?”  

“I suppose I did,” Levi drawled.

Still not quite believing that Levi was serious, Eren said, “Wow, I always dreamed of a February wedding.”

Levi laughed, but he didn’t rescind his proposal.

Eren had only been joking about the February wedding, but he had to admit it was lovely. Historia hosted a small celebration at the palace. There were cakes and fancy bottles of wine, a limited amount of dancing, and Mikasa only cried a little.

Nothing really changed after they were married. They even kept their separate rooms, though they moved to adjacent ones and spent the night together more often than not. Sometimes Eren would dramatically refer to Levi as his husband, but this was to elicit an eye roll, maybe even a laugh, from Levi.

If there was one thing that changed, it was a deep, private part of Eren that might have always second-guessed their relationship if left unchecked. He might only have a few years left to live. He might be taken from Levi long before then or Levi from him. They might find a cure and spend the rest of their lives debating cleaning techniques. No matter what happened, Eren knew that Levi wanted to spend whatever time they had together, and that was enough.

 

 

 

It was past midnight, and Levi was awake after a fitful two hours of sleep. Spending the night without Eren was unpleasant, and Levi was glad the expedition would conclude within the week. It was mid-March, and the nights were still cold. He missed warming his feet between Eren’s legs, his hands against Eren’s chest.

He pulled his cloak on, and a quilt for good measure, before he ventured outside. When he went to check on Eren, he found his tent was empty. It didn’t take long to find him staring down at the valley, so deep in thought he startled when Levi approached.

The valley really was something out of time. It was warmer the closer you stood, and there were fireflies twinkling across the field of flowers. They didn’t venture out of the bubble, and their radius of exploration was yet another addition to Hanji’s ever growing list of things to study.

He knew Eren was still angry with him. It was always in the line of his jaw, the way he raked his fingers through his hair. Levi was still angry too, but he didn’t want Eren out here alone, brooding. He’d pull him back to his tent and hold him close if he could.

“I thought you’d be exhausted from the experiments.”

Eren shrugged, not meeting Levi’s eyes. “Nah, not this time. Hanji thinks it’s more evidence of the flower’s healing properties, but I’m not sure. I’ve gotten stronger over the years anyway.”

“I’m not going to pretend I know what kind of bullshit goes into being married,” Levi said, waving his hand dismissively. “But you’re still pissed at me, and I’m still pissed at you, and it’s not going to get any better if we go to bed angry.”  

“We’re not in bed,” Eren pointed out. “That’s part of the problem.”

Levi frowned at Eren. He knew if he was quiet for long enough, Eren would fill the space, tell him what he was still so upset about.

“This all feels so indulgent.” Eren gestured down at the valley. “It feels like we’re chasing dreams and losing sight of what really matters. My life isn’t worth more than that.”

Eren had always been ready to give his life up in an instant if it meant defeating their enemies. It could be considered heroic in the heat of the moment, but this made Levi’s blood boil.

“Eren, I promise you, I will do everything in my power to get you to Marley.” He’d probably go to the end of the fucking world for Eren. “But I need you to give a damn about yourself.”

“I do give a damn,” Eren mumbled unconvincingly. “Levi, we’re building a whole settlement here. Hanji wants to run more experiments, conduct more studies. It’s not bringing us any closer to Marley.”

“It’s not pushing us any farther away either.”

Eren’s eyes were full of pain.

“I’ve always let you choose, Eren,” Levi said. “And I always will. I’ll only ask you this once, but can’t that be enough?”

He would fight for Eren, fight for all their lost comrades, fight for a life Levi never thought possible, but he didn’t think he had it in him anymore if Eren wasn’t going to fight for himself.

Levi surprised himself when he continued, “You know I once asked Erwin to stay when we both knew it would cost him his life if he went. Apparently I keep tethering myself to idiots who can’t see the value in their own lives.”

Eren’s eyes widened. “No. It’s not like that. I…” He trailed off, turning his gaze upwards as if the answer was written in the stars. When he looked back at Levi, he had that familiar, determined glint in his eyes. He stepped closer, resting his hands on Levi’s shoulders.

“When I was a kid I used to look up at the sky over the walls and imagine what the world outside was like. But it’s different now. I don’t care what the world is like beyond Paradis. I just want it all to be over because it’s the only way any of us have a chance for a future.” Eren swallowed hard. “So, yeah. If you tell me that this doesn’t hurt our chances, I’ll trust you. I’ll do as many experiments as Hanji likes. It’s still hard for me to accept, but please don’t ever think that there’s any other world I want than the one where we’re together.”

Levi blinked at Eren. Words were never his strength, and though Eren could stumble over his thoughts and was prone to babbling, he had a knack for taking Levi’s breath away.   

He turned on his heels and began walking back towards his tent.

“Hey, where are you going? Levi, come back here. I’m sorry alright? I--”  

“You’re supposed to follow me, idiot. We’re going to bed.”

“What? Together?”

“Yeah.”

“Hanji’s not going to like that,” Eren said. Levi was staring ahead, but he could hear the smile in Eren’s voice. “We’ve already bent the rules enough.”

“Are you coming or not?”

“Yeah, yeah.” Eren chased after him, and when he caught up he took Levi’s hand. “Everyone’s asleep,” he said, shyness creeping into his voice when Levi glanced down at their hands.

Levi intertwined their fingers and held on tight.  

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to [ Fluffymusketeer ](https://archiveofourown.org/users/fluffymusketeer/pseuds/fluffymusketeer) and [ Sugarplumsenpai](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sugarplumsenpai/pseuds/sugarplumsenpai) for being amazing betas!
> 
> Feedback is always appreciated <3

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [[Podfic] The Committee](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13789029) by [attraversiamo19](https://archiveofourown.org/users/attraversiamo19/pseuds/attraversiamo19), [thisgirlsays22](https://archiveofourown.org/users/thisgirlsays22/pseuds/thisgirlsays22)




End file.
